The Dawn of 2019. Written Jan 2019 #cancerdiaries

8 weeks ago, the world got turned upside down. The tide changed and the sun melted before my eyes into a ball of soot. The end of the world as I know it. As my eyes see it. Clear as a starry filled night sky. The devil’s back again. Fire raging and feelings of pure […]

Christmas 2018 #cancerdiaries

Her smile hides the agony of her thoughts. Soft words and gentle touch glides across the arm of her child. Protective is her nature of all things, and harmful words which could pierce the ears of her flesh and blood. Worry eats away at her once pink cheeks. Filled with doubt, the blusher steps in […]

Fuck Cancer. “Written days before you left”

Words cannot express the feeling of possibly loosing a parent whilst pregnant with your first born. I have no words. I am constantly fighting to stay strong and positive for my unborn baby boy yet I want to scream and go crazy inside at the thought this could be her final weeks. Fall or fly. […]

Cancer Diaries 12.12.2018

Today was the worst day. The worst news. The worst questions. The worst acceptance. I’d been dreaming this. The honest truth. The outcome of her very life. 6 to 12 months to live with her condition with no treatment. The bastard is nasty and spreading like wildfire. With treatment it could extend to another year… […]

We are a special kind

I don’t need no validation. I hold no guilt nor no reason for the show. Because we held each other every day and read each others minds like mother and daughter do. We are a special kind and special connections do not need anything other than a touch of a hand. She’s my everything but […]

Then I met you ❤️

My mum once told me that true love exists and that one day someone would sweep me off my feet. She said I’d fall into a deep love of something I’ve never felt. As if the stars would all melt into a colourful rainbow of joy. She told me he would be everything I needed […]

Fear I do not.

Fear for me is death and death you cannot bring, so what fear should I hold from the sound of your vacant breath… Guilt follows, like a stranger on a dark foggy night.

I just need.

She is my life. My every day. No matter what I’m doing, how I’m feeling, whether I’m 1 month or 5 months pregnant or not pregnant at all. Whether I have my new born baby, work or life problems every day she is my priority. If I haven’t seen her I’ve spoken to her and […]

I’m coming for you.

Full of fire and full of rage yet calm and quiet I sit in my cage. Calculated in thought at all the wrongdoing just watch me fly my broth is brewing. Relaxed and contented on the outside may be but wait until you least expect before you can no longer flee. My bark and my […]

My Rainbow. 2017

The year draws to an end. The feather of an angel rests on the top of a ice cold gate as I reminisce. The hard sun from across the ocean leaves my skin. The colour of culture doesn’t surpass my mind but holds a part of unmistaken journey. Memories connect to my heart with rainbow […]